For many years I have wanted to write an account of my conversion to Christ. During these years it seemed that some spiritual element unknown to me until only recently blocked the actual composition of such a written testimony. I have blamed it on procrastination, lack of time, and even on false humility. A number of false starts and incomplete notes litter my files. But now I know that the Lord has blocked my efforts in the past for His good purpose; and now I know why He has released me now. So I will finally begin this account with the assurance that you will also read it to the end.

I always imagined beginning the story with a description of one the most memorable events of my childhood. It was the decent into the Salt River Valley when I was eleven years old. My family was moving from Minneapolis, Minnesota to Phoenix, Arizona. It was a radical, life changing event. The winding two lane road, the transition in flora from pine trees to palm trees, the change in temperature from cool air to dry heat was unique to me in every way. It was not unlike the subjective impressions of a religious conversion. It was a change with no looking back and a beginning of life in a new world with new friends, new challenges, and many unknowns.

I was the youngest of three children. My father had been appointed as the new General Executive of the Phoenix YMCA. We joined a Congregational Church, which seemed in retrospect the logical step of my parents. They had been raised as Lutherans and shifted to Methodists in a town where there was no Lutheran church. The Congregational Church offered a good position in the diverse landscape of different Protestant churches.

I remember the night that I was confirmed. It seemed to be a mediative and spiritual time, but I do not recall a real sense of the presence of the Lord. Instead it is was something like a lonely path that appeared before me, beckoning me to come. When I was in high school, I became once more interested in spiritual issues. I remember reading the Gospels in a correspondence course. But I read them only as interesting lessons by a spiritual teacher, Jesus. During this time, I became interested in Eastern Religions. I read the Bagavagita and other Eastern Books. I was into Kalil Gibran, Rod McKeuwon, and Bob Dylan. Life was a subjective experience. It was controlled by the self.

When I considered what I wanted to do with my life, there seemed to be two options. I was interested in electronics and science but had acquired a sense of service from my father's profession. My brother had decided to major in psychology. It seemed to me that there were many problems in the world that stemmed from psychological factors. From the naive perspective of a teenager, it seemed that psychology was simple. Any fool could figure out what made another person tick. And I was fool enough to try it. Anyway, did the world need a better transistor radio or greater happiness and peace through psychology?

So I decided to major in psychology. However, after taking the introductory course and perhaps one or two other lower level courses, I was about ready to switch out of psychology. Why? Because it was too vague, too theoretical, and without substance. But it was just then that I took the laboratory course in experimental methods. There was hope for psychology. One could know the truth through empirical methods.

During my years as an undergraduate, I became interested in the Unitarian Church. It seemed refined and rational. It was a place to go on Sundays so that I did not have to return to my parent's church. When I went to the University of Iowa for graduate school, the Unitarian church was just across the street from the Department of Psychology. Unitarianism was into everything, the new morality, free love, gay rights, native American religions, etc.

My years in graduate school were intense with little time to think about spiritual issues. It was not until I landed my first teaching position at the University of Alabama that I recall surfacing but only for a moment. At the first chance, I left Tuscaloosa and moved to the University of Maryland. Within two years I received tenure. At that point I surfaced again, only to realize that I was nowhere.